I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Randomize
