can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
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