We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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