oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
