i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
