Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
