Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
