Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
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