Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
