And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Randomize
