I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
