When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
Fav 3 1048 608 share tweet
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
Randomize
