why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
