5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Boobs speak an international language.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
