Duck Duck Cougar?
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Randomize
