I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
