maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Randomize
