Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
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