it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
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He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
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Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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