We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
