hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
I need a beard to bite.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.