He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.