At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
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he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
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You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
What's dad's email?
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely