It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
if only i could text you this smell
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
Wipe that smile off your face.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me