Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex