hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
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i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
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Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night