finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
