I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
