there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
You're like the curious george of whores
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Randomize
