If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize
