I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Randomize
