A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
