if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Randomize
