You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
