I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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