This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Randomize
