yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
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