my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize
