you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
