He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
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