his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
No subtext here. People are naked.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Randomize
