You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
