Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Randomize
