so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Randomize
