I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
wow bdsm is so cute
Randomize
