I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
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