UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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