Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
