she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
