lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
