I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
