that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
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