Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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