she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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