you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
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