great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
That was before I lit my hair on fire
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Randomize
