my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
