i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
Randomize
