Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
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He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
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Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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