i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
ttyl tear gas
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
Randomize
