Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
