Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
