Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
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12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
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Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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