Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
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